October 25th, 2010.

This is a date that will forever be with me. This was the day that my life was turned upside down. It also goes along with three little words that I’ll never forget. Those words are:

“I’m sorry guys.”

Those were the words that the OB/GYN told us at the hospital after we had gone there because we couldn’t feel the baby moving. After that, things got a little fuzzy. Let me back up a bit.

The weekend was going great. We had arranged for the contractor to come in on Monday and start on changing the den into a bedroom. We had purchased a bunch of new clothes, and a stroller/car seat combo. We were beginning to get excited about the little addition to our family in a couple of months. We had names picked out, planning a holiday with him the following summer, just getting excited. Our families were excited as well. They were purchasing clothes, toys and other things in anticipation. Then came Sunday.

We went to church as usual and we heard how another family, that was expecting any day, were having some complications, so we were asked, as a congregation, to pray that all may go well. After coming home and having lunch, April noted that she didn’t think that she had felt the baby for a while. She had a glass of orange juice and we went about the day. Later that evening, she mentioned that she didn’t feel the baby. So off to the emergency care in Airdrie. They instructed us to go to the hospital where we would be delivering. So off to the Rockeyview Hospital we went, grumbling because it is a long way and we thought they could have just put a heartbeat monitor on and it would all be good. I drop April off at the front door and go and park the car. We get to the Maternity ward and they get into a room right away and start to hook up the monitors. They seemed to be having some difficulty, so they called in an OB/GYN to do an ultrasound. The nurse that admitted us was still talking to April when I noticed that the OB/GYN seemed to be waiting to speak. When she did, our world came crashing down.

“I’m sorry guys.”

With three little words, our dream had come to an end. After that, there was much crying, consoling, phone calls were made and a blessing was given. April then had to go through one of the most cruel things that I can think of. She had to give birth. Why was this cruel? Because there would be no reward at the end.

So on Monday October 25th, 2010 at around 5:22pm, Kai Derek Samuel Coulthard was born. There was no crying as he gasped for air, there was no movement from his arms or legs. There was nothing. Just this tiny little body. After the nurse cleaned him and wrapped him in a blanket, she asked if we wanted to hold him. As I held my little boy, I broke down. In my arms was supposed to be a loving bundle of joy, instead there was a lifeless body. As our family gathered around for support, there were no barriers to emotion being shown. There were lots of tears, hugs, well wishes, questions, and most of all, support for me and April. Eventually family started to leave and then there was just April, me and Kai. As we sat with our little one and contemplated what had happened and why, we held him for what now doesn’t seem like long enough. At 10:30pm we handed our little son over to the nurses, never to hold him again. Never to see him smile, run, play, fall in love, get married and have children of his own. This is the hardest to come to terms with.


Two months. Two months have passed since that event, and we are getting better. Writing this is my way of dealing with it. The emotions are still very raw and we still have many, many questions. We believe that Kai was a valiant servant of our Father in Heaven and did not need to prove himself in this life, but he did need a physical body. We don’t know why Kai didn’t need to be here, and that is hard, but we are comforted with our belief that we will see him and get a chance to know and raise him in the next life. This belief seems to take away the edge of the pain, but not completely remove it. In the coming weeks during Christmas, it will be especially hard as his due date was the 23rd of December.

I am going to attach a couple of picture of Kai. They have been re-touched, but if you do not want to look, I understand.


















If you thought that wasn’t horrible enough, wait until I tell you about the trip we took afterwards.

Until then.

End of an era and begining of a new one.

Well it's been a while since my last post (over a month) and not much has happened. On the 31st of August I handed my truck back to the leasing company and we officially became a one car family. The only vehicle we have is our 2007 Honda Fit. This needs to be our only car for a couple of years until we can afford 2 car payments again. Then I get to go and get a car that I really want. Don't know what it is yet, but I have a couple of years to think about it and do some serious research. I do have a few in mind already, but they are a little expensive at the moment. We'll see what happens in a couple of years.

Our house is now officially off the market. We tried to sell it for a few months, but as luck would have it, as soon as it hit the market, the market collapsed. Seriously, it dropped 42% the first month we listed. Now we need to look at converting our den/office into a 3rd bedroom. Hopefully that won't cost too much. We have already got a crib and change table for the new bedroom and also a playpen for the living room/wherever. All donated by very nice people who do not read this blog.

Work is good and busy. I just started on a new project as well as doing some finishing work for the old one. Hopefully I'll get to do some design work on this new project, but I doubt it will be much. The project is basically a copy of an old one for the same company, just in a different location. This year I plan on continuing my education and hopefully getting a lot of it completed towards my Process Piping Certificate. Of course with the baby coming in December, I'm not sure how much time I will have to study and such. I am also toying with the idea of joining our companies "Toastmasters Club" to work on my public speaking and confidence in a group setting. The trouble with that is the club is at the Southport location and I am downtown. We'll see if we can make it work.

Church is going good. I am still the first assistant in the High Priest Group and slowly getting more comfortable with the Branch/Ward. I think that this calling is also helping me to overcome my shyness as every few weeks I need to give a lesson or lead the group in some manner.

Well I guess I've bored you enough with what is happening, if you are even reading this blog anymore.

I am working on a couple of things at the moment that will hopefully show up here in the next few weeks.

Thanks for stopping by.

2004

2004??? What was going on in 2004? Not much that I can remember. I do remember that being the year that I decided to go back to school and get my AutoCad Certificate, but other than that it was pretty uneventful. So why would I be talking about it?? Well, that's the year of my truck. I own/lease a 2004 GMC Canyon Crew Cab Z71 4x4. I leased it in 2006 for 4 years. If you do the math you will notice that this is the year it goes back to leasing company. In fact at the end of August I need to hand it back to them or buy it out. I have decided to give it back to them and we are going to become a 1 car family for as long as possible. Let me tell you about my truck.

As I stated before it is a 2004 GMC Canyon Crew Cab Z71 4x4. It is a SLE trim, which basically means it's loaded. It has power everything, except seats, cruise control, auto dimming rear view mirror with compass and temperature read out, 6 disc upgraded stereo, remote key less entry, dual air bags, dual power outlets, the 3.5l in line 5 cylinder engine (yes 5 cylinders), and a bunch more. I bought the truck in 2006 and it had 70,000kms on it already. I wasn't concerned about the mileage, because I knew that these trucks are pretty durable.

The day I picked the truck up and drove it home, my family was in the back yard waiting for me. After showing it off for a few minutes, my Dad announced that we needed to take some stuff to the dump. We loaded it up 3 times that day with junk that had been accumulating in their garage. The pleasures of owning a truck. It wasn't bad, I actually enjoyed it. The next weekend I ended up hauling some cement blocks from my parents house to my brother-in-laws for their back yard. I could already start to see a trend forming. When my sister in Salt Lake City found out that I had a truck, she asked if I cold bring down her trunk that she had here still. She had been without it for around 5 years, but now that I had a truck......well you get the idea. I didn't really mind doing these things, after all, that was what a truck was for.

Of course I also had some fun in it. Almost every weekend I could, I was out in the country looking for new off-roading areas that I could go. I had a blast on those days. Even when I took the trunk down to my sister, I went in search of the roads less travelled.

I loved this truck. The ride on it wasn't as harsh as I thought it would be. I drove very nice on the highway. I put a lot on miles on it the first couple of years I had it. Since then, the mileage has lessened. It is basically only driven now out of necessity. The reason being the gas mileage. For a smaller truck it's quite bad. The most I've ever got out of it was 550km to a tank of gas, which is around 70 litres. This was the biggest fault from day one with the truck. Everything else was good. The inside materials weren't the best quality and a little hard to the touch, but come on!!!! It's a truck for crying out loud, not a Lexus!!!

The reliability of the truck has been outstanding. There were winters were if vehicles were not plugged in, they wouldn't start. The truck always did. It got us to work when there was over 2 feet of snow out, it got us there when there was a layer of ice on the roads. The 4 wheel drive system in the truck is unstoppable. I have never gotten stuck in it (knock on wood).

Lately there have been a few issues with the truck. Last year the ABS light came on and was causing the system to act a little funny. We took it to a local garage where they informed me that the front wheel bearings were worn out and needed to be replaced. I almost passed out when they told me that it would be close to $1500 to replace them and the ABS sensors on the bearings. I thanked the nice man and left with the truck. My cousin and I changed the wheel bearings and ABS sensors for around $800 (Thanks Fergus!!). The truck is getting to that point where the little things are starting to wear out. The front brakes are almost worn out, the tires are getting worn down, things like that. And I've found out that nothing is cheap for this truck. A turn signal bulb is almost $7, rear brake shoes are $150, Front bumper cover cost $250, so I think it is time to give it up. Plus the payment isn't exactly cheap either.

If we can do with out a second car until the new baby arrives, then we will be able to put a lot of money into savings maybe, just maybe, have enough for a down payment next year on a house closer to our family and friends.

Well, there's the story on my truck. This truck was a post divorce/new career gift to myself at the time. Since then I have found an even greater gift in my wife. She is the light of my life and the reason to better myself each day.